Top 20 Status Selections

1. PS4? Pshhhhh…. When I was a kid I had to blow into my video games to get them to work.
2. Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate.
3. Thanks to Facebook I feel like we probably need a new word for ‘friend.’
4. I’m a fan of saying YOU’RE WELCOME really loudly when people don’t thank you.
5. When I die, I give you permission to change my status to “is dead”.
6. Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties. I will never comprehend this.
7. I hate incorrect use of apostrophe’s.
8. It’s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
9. Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
10. I ordered myself an Eastern European bride online. SO EXCITED. Just received confirmation… My Czech is in the mail!
11. Doing something weird and thinking “yep, this is why I’m single”.
12. Every pizza is a personal pizza if you eat the entire thing.
13. Hard work + Dreams + Dedication = Success.
14. That awkward moment when a hoe tries to give relationship advice.
15. How does one uninstall anxiety?
16. I really worried about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
17. Everyone knows colored markers are cooler than crayons.
18. I didn’t get your call really means “I hate you stop calling me.”
19. When I was a kid I had to blow into my video games to get them to work.
20. Since I can’t undo my mistakes, I’ve decided to make bigger and more elaborate mistakes to overshadow them with.